Is it just me or is every celebrity marriage dissolving in front of our eyes? I mean, Russell Brand and Katy Perry is one thing – not even they can have imagined it would last as long as it did – but now the news that Heidi and Seal are to divorce? It’s just too much.
The interwebs are aflame with disbelief. Not Heidi and Seal! they say. Of all the celebrity couples out there, we thought at least they would last.
Am I the only one who thinks a white scarf runs the risk of making you look like Mumm-Raa from ThunderCats?
This got me thinking.
Why is it everyone was so convinced that Heidi and Seal’s marriage was so goshdarnit perfect? It’s not like any of us could tell how well they communicated, or how well they physically clicked and used intimacy as a glue to hold their relationship together. We don’t know what their respective love languages are, and how fluent each was in the other’s.
I did a quick google of all the blog posts and news items and it turns out that everyone in the entire world who thought they were a solid couple based that belief on one main factor.
They renewed their vows each year in a lavish ceremony.
As far as I’m concerned, there’s definitely a risk that if you do a lot to outwardly show how in love you are and what a great couple you are, it’s either an attempt to mask the fact that you’re a terrible couple, or at the very least it’s an activity that takes your energy and focus away from actually spending time doing the real things that will sustain and improve your marriage. Melissa thinks that the fact I’m making this statement on a blog all about our marriage is hypocritical. But the difference (I think) is that this blog is reflective of the amount of work we put into our marriage. When things aren’t going so well, we share it.
I’ve got nothing against vow renewals. Melissa is desperately trying to convince me that we should have one, as a way to mark the amazing improvements we’ve made in our marriage over the past couple of years. TLHP alum Alisa Bowman and her husband Mark had one because they turned their marriage around from the brink of failure.
But an annual vow renewal has all the power stripped out of it because it becomes a foregone conclusion. Which means you stop thinking about whether you want to renew your vows, and start doing it because that’s what you do. It’s a little like giving medals to all the kids who take part in the race. Sure, it makes it look like everyone’s a winner, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone crying under the bleachers before the afternoon is over.
Do you think there’s more to the Heidi and Seal situation than meets the eye? What’s your theory?
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