One couple's quest to explore the meaning of marriage by traveling the world to interview other married couples.
August has been a month of treating ourselves and lots of dining out. Here are a few of the highlights, in pictures. No drooling!
Chowing down on deep dish pizza in Chicago
Mmmmmm. Pizza.
Salt water taffy in Ogunquit, ME.
The infamous New England Lobstah Roll, Fox's Restaurant in Maine
Jelly doughnut pancakes from Orange with a Peel, Chicago
Standing in position for Phoenix’s Lollapalooza performance for an hour was tiring enough, without being taunted.
Smile if you love Lollapalooza
We contemplated doing some Long Haul Project work this weekend while in Chicago for Lollapalooza but quickly realized watching the music would keep us fully occupied. Enjoying live music is one of our favorite husband-and-wife pastimes so this was pretty much our favorite weekend ever. What were our favoritest of the faves?
Favorite unexpected surprises
It’s hard to describe exactly what seeing gypsy punk rockers Gogol Bordello is like. Imagine if Dosteovsky and Stalin got drunk, picked up violins and accordions and formed a band. If ever a band was designed to storm a festival, it’s Gogol Bordello.
Do you think of London as the home of bluegrass-tinged folk music? No, neither do we which is why the talented Mumford and Sons were such a delightful surprise. Their set kicked off on Sunday afternoon just as the morning rain gave over to sunshine and their mellow energy and warm harmonies matched the weather perfectly.
Favorite food and drink
Truffle fries make us happy
We knew this wasn’t going to be your standard overcooked burgers and soggy hot dogs kind of festival when we read that Top Chef Graham Elliot Bowles was culinary director of Lollapalooza. There were dozens of food stalls with every kind of cuisine, all sourced from local hot spots. Some of the yummier sounding choices included lobster corn dogs (wow!), red velvet cupcakes and pulled pork sandwiches. Our favorite? Truffle fries from Rockit Bar & Grill. Yum and yum.
We were mildly dismayed when we discovered that Budweiser sponsored the festival and for the first few hours on Friday, could find nothing but Bud and Bud Light in the bars. Happily, it didn’t take long for us to stumble upon Lederhosen’s Biergarten, an oasis of shade, picnic tables and Hoegaarden.
Favorite old favorites
Is it wrong to resent Phoenix’s recent popularity? I’ve been a fan for years—long before they were played on the radio and in Cadillac commercials. While I’m thrilled that they’ve been recognized for their enormous talent, I feel a strange, selfish sense of ownership.
So I was annoyed that most of the crowd for their Saturday night headliner didn’t seem to realize that the French band had released three studio albums before their current hit, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. While everyone could sing along to “Listzomania” and “1901”, people looked a little befuddled when they played anything off their older albums (which they barely did, but ok I get that I’m one of the few people who has supported them since before even Sofia Coppola).
I held out high hopes that I’d hear them play some old stuff at their House of Blues after-show on Sunday night. Well, ok, they did play Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix in its entirety for their new crop of fans but then they came out for the most roof-raising, electric encore packed with (real) fan favorites like “Too Young”, “Run, Run, Run”, and “Long Distance Call”. Lead singer Thomas Mars is known for his stage-diving antics and he did not disappoint, closing the show with a 1901 reprise sung while scaling walls and crowd surfing.
We thought it couldn’t end on a better note. We were wrong. We headed to the bar for one final drink and next thing we knew, there were all the members of Phoenix chatting to fans, posing for pictures and being generally adorable and French. Ooh la la! I try not to be too dazzled by celebrity, but I was more than a little awkward as I sidled up to Thomas Mars and complimented him on the show. I think I even gave him a “thumbs up”. Cringe! Favorite lame fan moment goes to me.
So here we are at Lollapalooza in Chicago. We’ve been planning the trip for months, all of our favorite bands are playing, good friends we haven’t seen in two years have come to meet us and we have both been desperate for a break from the stressful pace of the work week.
So take all that anticipation and combine it with 4 hours of sleep, a very early flight, hot weather and way too many glasses of sauvignon blanc and what do you get?
A fight.
And not just any fight– a crying in the streets-bitter recriminations- gloves are off- I’m booking the next flight home kind of fight.
A picture of Tom after the big fight
The good news is that we’ve been doing a lot of work on our communication recently. In fact, the fight is evidence of that. I used to take pride in the fact that Tom and I never had “big fights”, as if it was a good thing instead of an indicator of us not being open and honest with each other. A few months ago, all the built-up stress and resentment that led to this blow-out would have been kept inside. There might have been lots of sulking and sullen silences, and it would have tainted the whole weekend.
But instead, we got it out (and boy, did we get it all out). We went to bed still feeling pretty angry, but when we woke up this morning we talked, this time in a quieter and more rationale way. I listened to what was upsetting Tom and he listened to what was upsetting me. We acknowledged the validity of the other one’s feelings. We apologized. We identified that we might not be able to resolve everything today, but committed to what we would work on beyond this weekend. And then we laughed and hugged and kissed.
I think there’s hope for us yet. Now, back to the music.
Sorry to harp on this subject, but I thought it was worth putting out a reminder that we’ll be at Lollapalooza in Chicago this weekend, and while we’ll be there primarily to catch some live music (and catch up with friends), we’re hoping to do some TLHP double-duty.
We’ll be armed with one camera (the one that got broken and then fixed) and a mic, and we’re hoping to meet some other married couples among the festival-goers.
We’ll ask each couple we meet one question on camera: what’s the one secret to the success of your marriage?
If any couple can come up with an answer funnier than Paul & Stefanie, they’ll win some sort of beer-based prize.
Are you a married couple? Are you going to be at Lollapalooza? Do you want to make an appearance on camera? If so, we’ll be fully contactable while we’re there – just email us at info@thelonghaulproject.com, tweet us @longhaulproject or project a giant bus symbol onto ominously gathering clouds with a searchlight. Probably the email or twitter is easiest though.
We promise we won’t do this to you:
Oh, and if you contact us because you think you can use us to get close to StickCam™, I’m afraid to say it will be staying home this trip.
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