Recently there was an incident…
It started out innocently, with me trying out a new “seductive move”. I’m not going into specifics, but let’s just say it was a little gesture. The kind of thing Melissa would melt at if Brad Pitt did it in a movie.
Except Melissa didn’t melt. She burst out laughing. And kept laughing at me for a long time.
Seduction fail.
It got me thinking about something we learned last year: that people have different love languages, or ways of expressing love. For your partner to really understand that you love her, you need to express it in her love language. It’s one of the most powerful and useful marriage lessons we’ve ever learned. Now I’m realizing that this lesson might also apply to seduction. To successfully put the moves on, you’ve got to know your partner’s seduction language.
For example, I know what Melissa’s seduction language is. It’s French. She would find it incredibly seductive if I were French. Not just someone who’d moved to France and gained citizenship, but a full-on, culturally Gallic man, with the accent, the vague sense of arrogance and propensity to say the word ‘bof‘. I mean, if I moved to Paris now and really immersed myself in the culture, I could probably be that man in somewhere around ten or fifteen years.
Or she would be very seduced if I could dance extremely well. I’m white, straight and English. I’m not sure there are dance instructors in the world who could get my skills up to snuff. Or she would be pretty damn seduced if I had Ryan Gosling’s body.
So I know what I must do to seduce her and it will just takes six months of grueling workouts for me to able to speak that particular “seduction language”. But what about me? Would I be seduced by walking around a museum in Paris or some salsa dancing? Nope, not really. My seduction language involves lacy undercrackers, hosiery, make-up and lipstick, skirts that ride up too high and tops that come down too low.
In fact, my seduction language doesn’t involve words at all. It’s more of a sign-language, actually. If I see that Melissa has slipped into some lacy knickers, I know she is sending me a seductive message in my language. But when I put on my best Calvin Kleins? She hardly bats an eyelid.
It seems to me that women, or at least in this case Melissa, have it pretty easy. I mean, what’s a quick trip to Vicky’s Secret compared to 6 months in the gym or 10 years in France? Still, if it means more sexy time than I’ll definitely keep pumping iron. Learning another person’s seduction language isn’t easy. But the rewards are well worth it.
And as for what the new “seduction move” was that I tried on Melissa? I’ve threatened her with divorce if she ever reveals it.













